Useless and most likely disturbing things you really do not care to read about.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Kiss of Death! There's nutin' nuttier!

Ok, so we have all heard of the mysterious bull shit peanut allergy right? I don't believe it myself and rank it up there with being allergic to water on Jer's list of "I can't friggin' believe you could be allergic to that, you must be full of shit" list.

I am also sure we have all heard of the stories where some guy is performing CPR on a dying man, only to kill him with this peanuty PayDay bar breath. Give me a break.

So it would appear it has happened again. Has another moron committed peanuticide? No. A teenager was apparently engaged in oral copulation. This time, it was the "kiss of death". A 15 year old girl apparently died after being kissed by her nut breath boyfriend. Can you believe this crap? I'm still not buying this. Do you suppose he will be brought up on murder charges? Manslaughter perhaps? Accidental death by kiss. Oh Planters, you're fucked!

"The symptoms of peanut allergy can include hives, plunging blood pressure and swelling of the face and throat, which can block breathing."


Ah, ok, but these symptoms can occur from most anything now-a-days from poison ivy, to a bee sting. I've not seen anyone die this quickly from something like this.

Apparently 1.5 million deranged (probably liberal) American's claim to be severely allergic to even the most minute trace of peanuts. Apparently 50 to 100 people annually surcome to the "death by nut" phenomena.

Odd that the anti-smoking, anti-drinking, anti-meat now crowd is not flocking to the aid of so many afflicted with this wacky fallacy. I mean should we not be putting warning labels on peanut butter? I wonder; did Jiffy know that they were producing harmful product for their customers? What about second hand peanut breath? God almighty the implications are absolutely endless.

Full sad/funny story here...

6 Comments:

Anonymous said...

It happens. A neighbor of mine died from it - peanut oil on his food. Not a joke.

5:34 AM

 
yfs1 said...

"should they put warning labels on peanut butter"
Have you seen a Peanut Butter label lately - It says "May contain traces of nuts" lol

5:37 AM

 
Jer said...

While the incident is "no joke", my blog entry "IS". Anyone that cannot see that must support terrorism.

Warning labels on PB? I'm all for it. Hell, there should be warning labels on Coke and Pepsi too. That crap is no good for you either. There should be warning labels on condoms too! What about those allergic to latex?

We need a much safer world, and dammit, labels will do that!

8:48 AM

 
Jer said...

Ok, "Peanut Oil in his food", I can see that. But that is not the same thing.

Let me see if I can help you understand. Let's just say that you happened to be gay. Let's just say that you found your neighbor (mortem of course) attractive.

Now let's say that you ate some food with peanut oil all over it. Then when you got up the nerve, you went over to your neighbor's house and kissed him. Then, 8 hours later, your neighbor died from your peanut oily kiss.

Am I making sense here?

9:19 AM

 
Anonymous said...

No, but then, you never do. Was your point that you have a latent fantasy involving your neighbor?

5:41 PM

 
Jer said...

Well, you know... my neighbor is pretty hot, but I think she is married.

11:29 AM

 

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