Forget me not panites?

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For more information about this incredible break through click here

Breakup Letter Generator - Cool!

Man, I wish I would have had this before I got married. Introducing the "Breakup Letter Generator" online!

What a wonderful little tool. Here is what I would write to my girlfriend:

Dear Dirty Ass,

This letter is to inform you of the termination of our relations. It is imperative that this mutual release be executed immediately and is intended to eliminate any obligations by either party henceforth.

It's over.

You sucked some other guys walley. You are dumpy, lumpy, ho, flat chest, hair, homely. You always smokin crack and I well hung, muscular, smart, funny, cool.

Although this document officially denotes the end of our affiliation, I will always have possession over her fat ass. However, with reference to this, the following decrees you a bitch: cause she smell.

Upon execution of this document, I will drink and party and you will they will swarmed by bees. Be forwarned: in dollars


Have a nice life and goodbye bitch!

Sincerely,

Jer

What the hell is it with the Brits?

You know what I cannot understand about the British? Why they would find it really cool to have a toilet in a car, but find it offensive as hell to talk with your mouth full of food. Sure, shit and drive, but eat and drive? Come on. Aren't you glad we kicked their asses out of here?



I suppose you could fill up here.

Dumb ass in Florida climbs crane

Talk about OSHA violations. No hard hat, no OSHA approved harness, not wearing steel toed boots, hmmm.



I guess he beat his ho to death, then climbed up a construction crane. Smart, very smart. Where are the S.W.A.T. sharp shooters when you need them. If the guy is gonna kill himself, why in the hell do you waste time trying to keep him from doing it? I can only assume that work on the crane and construction site has been halted because of this. I know it has interrupted traffic. What a waste. Pop a cap in his ass and let's get a move on.

Runaway ding bat going to the pokey!

Well it appears as though my faith in intelligent life in the south has been restored thanks to several weeks of hard thought by law enforcement. Looks like that dumb chic that decided it would be cool to kidnap herself and blame it on Mexicans is gonna do some time.

Apparently she is going to be charged and arrested. She is facing up to 6 years in prison and is going to be charged with a felony.

Read more about the obvious here.

I still cannot get over what a bug eyed freak this chic is. Who the hell would abduct her intentionally anyway?

Even Clones have to Pee!

It's bad enough to find long lines to a mens room, but when you find out the hold up is a pair of gun toting Storm Troopers? I think the picture speaks for itself.

Eating out of a Toilet!

I really have to be in the mood fore Chinese food, or any Asian cuisine for that matter. I love the food, but I have to REALLY be in the mood for it. My system just cannot take the aftermath that ensues.

So let me preface this by saying it is completely apropos to place Asian food in a toilet for consumption as after all, that is where it is going to end up eventually anyway.




Take a gander at this little jem of cantonese persusion, or should I say ode 'de toilet?

Flag Statistics Web Site - Interesting!

I found a cool site the other day that has some interesting statistics about various countries flags.



See more flag statistics here.

Like I care - Quran Desecration

Seriously, this whole Quaran Desecration story is a load of bunk no matter how you look at it. For one, to me, as an American, as someone who believes in FREEDOM in all its glory in every way, shape or form, what is the big deal?

While I respect other religions, I like to think of my respect as something more likened to tolerating other religions. I believe in God, not ali, ala, or whatever the hell Muslims call it. To me there is no "Quaran". To me, following a false God is wrong. It is easy for me to find nothing wrong with Quaran Desecration (even though the story was a typical liberal, bigoted, hateful, sick, twisted, bleeding heart lie) because I do not believe that the Quaran is a holy document. It's just a book, made up not so long ago about a false prophet and a false God. The Quaran teaches hatred. The Quaran encourages killing ones enemy, which it defines as anyone who is not Muslim. How can you respect, or even tolerate a book like that? You might has well get pissed at "Mien Kemp" Desecration.

Imagine if Americans who had German war prisoners were flushing "Mien Kemp" down the toilet. Would there be outrage? Would the scum bag liberals at "NewsWeek" be doing a story on it? Food for thought anyway.

You may ask yourself as you read this, how can you say these things? How can you be so cold, so disrespectful? It's easy. September 11, 2001 changed my life and my feelings about Muslims and Islam forever. I did not feel this way prior to that day. My surroundings have molded me, changed me and helped me understand that these are evil people with evil intentions. As I look back at history for answers to questions I have about my feelings in this matter I find time and time again that these people have always hate Christians and Jews. They have always killed Christians and Jews, and their own people as well. They have always been evil.

Still not understanding my feelings on the subject? Think about World War II and how hated "Japs" as they were called by your grandfathers. Many people in the US did not dislike Japanese prior to the war, but a great many hated them until the day they died. I don't hate Japanese. I have no reason to, nor does our nation anymore. Hell, I have a Japanese bike and love it. But there was a generation of people that did hate them, and with good reason at the time.

The same can be said of Germans during and after the war as well. In any event, a traumatic event in history unfolded on September 11, 2001 that forever changed my feelings towards a group of people. Some day this too will pass, and perhaps, like the Japanese, Muslims will become our friends and those (myself included) that hate them so much will be long gone. For me, I do not see that day any time soon.

Unless... These bastards stop blowing themselves and other people up. These bastards stop teaching their children hatred. These bastards stop attacking our people and other people around the world. These bastards acknowledge that Jews and Christianity came first. These bastards stop praying to a false God. It's really not much to ask. Oh hell, pray to the false God. But stop killing people you sick freaks.

Thank God for guys like Trump - Bring those Towers BACK!!!

Thank God that there are people in this world like Donald Trump that actually have the balls to say what most everyone is thinking. Put the Twin Towers BACK!

Apparently Donald Trump had proposed a plan to put the Towers (WTC) "World Trade Center" to the layman, back as they were, only taller.

Brilliant! That is all I have ever wanted, and according to CNN's own poll, it looks like many feel the same way.

I like some of these quotes from Trump about what he does not like about the current building plans:

"It's a building that's essentially a skeleton," he said.

Trump said the plan "looks like a junkyard."

"You take a look at a the roofs of those buildings, they're all at different angles, different shapes," he said. "It is the worst pile of crap architecture I have ever seen in my life."

I especially like where he mentions that if the Statue of Liberty where blown up by moron Islam Freakazoid Muslim Scumbag Terrorists, would you put something else in its place, or would you put the statue back?

I hope Trump succeeds in this endeavor. Those towers defined the skyline, they made NYC what it is/was and forever shall be. They are icons, elegant and beautiful. What made them so beautiful was the simplicity in the design. This "freedom tower" is the biggest physical abortion and artsy fartsy piece of industrial design failure I have ever seen. Like Trump said, it "looks like a junkyard," and I could not agree more!


You can read more about the full story here: http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/05/18/wtc.trump/index.html

Google for Bling

Just for shits and giggles I decided to do a Google Search for "Bling". Came up with some pretty interesting things. The best image listed was this mini bling kiddig cruiser.... Check it man:

Click image for full size view

Give'm the finger!

I was staring at one of my b-day presents for my 30th b-day (which was about 4 years ago). It's a nice prosthetic hand that when a button on the back is depressed, flips hte bird at anyone standing opposite it. It looks just like a real full sized hand. Anyway, I pulled it off the shelf and put new batteries in it to see if it still worked, which it did. I was thinking about placing it on the dash of my car, or in on the rear deck, and wiring it direct to my horn. This way whenever I honk at some asshole, or assholet on the road, I can also flip them the bird.

Low and behold, to what do my wondering eyes did appear on the web? Someone has thought of this already. Not quite exactly has I have envisioned, but close enough to make me think it might be easier to just purchase this:



You can find out more about this fine finger flipping device here.

Do a Google for "ugly" - you may be surprised

Click Here to do a Google Search for "Ugly".

Among some pretty damn ugly pics, I came across a not so ugly chopper that had the name "ugly" for it's file name "ugly-bike.jpg".

Burnout Mag's "Thanks for Almost Being My Mother"

I really got a kick out of the inventiveness and thought that went into the story about "Aborted Fetus Mother's Day Cards" article that I found at Burnoutmag.com. While disgusting to some, and perhaps in poor taste, I think it really spells out just what kind of a mother you are if you kill your child.

Kudos from a Dad that's glad his wife is not a baby killer!

Mexican President speaks the truth - so what is the problem?

I really find nothing wrong with the president of Mexico making the following statement that Mexican immigrants to the United States take jobs "that not even blacks want to do."

What the hell is so offensive about this? Are there not bigger problems in our little world to worry about than what the president of Mexico says? Who gives a shit? Seriously, had the Mexican president said the following:

"that not even whites want to do" would we really be seeing the outrage? What if he said "that not even American's want to do" ?

No, there would be no outrage. Why? Because IT IS TRUE!!! The statement is TRUE. However, the Mexican president decided to limit his comments to one particular race. Singling out the black race is what has outraged people. One thing you cannot change however about his comment, seemingly racially toned or not (you decide), it is still true.

I see no need for him to apologize. Perhaps if he just said:

Mexican immigrants to the United States take jobs "that not even Americans want to do."

I think this would clear things up a bit. If nothing else, as an Italian American (native to American soil), I am a bit offended that Italian American's were left out. I mean after all, what Italian American in their right mind would do a Mexican's job?

And why the hell is Jesse "Do nothing, impregnate people I am not married to, never worked a day in my life, higher than thou, mightier than all" Jackson doing involved in this? We all know for a fact that if the Mexican president said:

Mexican immigrants to the United States take jobs "that not even Jesse Jackson want to do."

Not only would this be true, it would be funnier than hell. I'm glad I said it.

Finally it is my feeling that black Americans would not do the jobs that Mexican immigrants do, because most black Americans are more educated, goal orientated and opportunistic in American, than any other country on the planet. We owe a great deal to many a black inventor, leader, and preacher in American than many will ever know. I know of no other country were so many, no matter what race have an equal playing field where they can strive to be whatever they want.

For the record, there is no job on this earth so low or beneath anyone so long as they work hard, take pride in what they do, and do it to support their family.

If you feel the need to read the story, follow this link: http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/05/14/fox.jackson/index.html

Chronic Candy Man! Blunt Man would go wild!

It appears a candy maker has mastered the fine art of legal gonja! Apparently the candy maker has made some controversial Pot-Flavored Candy which is specifically sold to kids.



It's kinda ironic that it is called "Chronic" candy, right? According to the Urban Dictionary:

1. chronic
1) very high-quality weed, generally with red hairs on it.
2) pertaining to a long-lasting medical condition.
From smoking too much chronic, Joe ended up with a chronic case of the shaky-shivers.

Click here for full details of this high times story...

Clinton Google Search

Do a quick Google Search for "President Clinton"

Check out one of the results:


Enjoy!

Sex for Steak? If only it were that easy to beat the meat!

"Man Offers to Buy Sex With Steak

WOONSOCKET, R.I. (AP) — He didn't have any money. But police say that didn't stop Wayne Glaude, 22, from soliciting sex from an undercover officer Thursday night.

Instead, police said, he offered steak.

Glaude, who works at a meat company, tried to strike a deal with the undercover officer, according to Detective Capt. Luke Gallant.

"He didn't have any money and had a couple of nice T-bones sitting at home," Gallant said.

Glaude, of Woonsocket, was arrested and pleaded innocent Friday in Providence District Court (search) to a count of soliciting from a motor vehicle. He was released on personal recognizance.

Gallant said Woonsocket police had never had a case like it.

"I can honestly say it's the first time," he said."

Original story reprinted from Foxnews.com May 6th, 2005

Pizza for Pot?

"Man Tries to Buy Pizza With Pot

FARGO, N.D. (AP) — Police arrested a 21-year-old man early Saturday after he allegedly assaulted a pizza delivery driver who refused to take marijuana as payment for a pie, police said.

Pizza Patrol (search) driver Atif Yasin thought the man was asleep when he arrived to deliver a medium pizza and 20-ounce soda. After knocking a few times and calling the man on his cell phone, Yasin said he answered the door in his boxers.

The man took the pizza, spent a few minutes looking for money and then offered to pay with marijuana, Yasin said.

Yasin said when he told the man that he either needed money or the pizza, the man began to yell and pushed him and punched him in the face.

Officers who arrested the man said he was intoxicated, Sgt. Shannon Ruziska said.

Yasin, a 22-year-old Minnesota State University Moorhead student, did not seek medical attention for his injuries. The right side of his face was still red and swollen Saturday afternoon, he said.

The man, charged with robbery, was released from the Cass County Jail after posting $5,000 bond."

Original story printed from Foxnews.com (March 4th, 2005)

Viagra Condom???

It looks as though British researchers have come up with a condom that has the affects of Viagra on its "wood" be user.

"Condom may keep users at attention

British scientists claim they've come up with a condom that can turn a flop into a stud."

The full story is located here.

How to give yourself a BJ (caution, men and chicks with dicks only)

I think the link to this site says it all.

I've seen some interesting "how to's" on the net, but this one takes the cake.

Enjoy

Bling Teeth? What an Ugly Broad!

Ok, so take bling to the next level. Somewhere between tripped out SUV's and Spinners for your lawnmower, introduce the Golden Teeth Caps to bling your mouth.

God, I have never seen anything more repugnant, outside of Rosie O'Donnel at an all you can eat hair pie buffet.

"Teenagers, after a few weeks of saving up lawn-mowing and babysitting money, can choose from more than two dozen Bay Area shops to decorate their mouths."

Only in California.

Read all about it here